I forgot the pictures of Sarah and all the kids new clothes. They reminded me that those are important shots. The new cloths and the back to school blessings. "Come on Mom"..... Hmmm







Stephen, was being honery that morning and it was difficult to get him to stop and pose. I guess he is now TO COOL to take pictures. Stinkerpot!!!!

We made it!!!!!

The first two weeks of school are done..... We did it this year without Mom which I felt was a huge accomplishment. It is funny, the way I motivate myself it to prove things to me! I look around and pick someone who appears to me to be doing it correctly and I make them my example. I tell myself, "if they can do it so can I". By doing this, it is funny but I honestly think I can accomplish ANYTHING! So, back to school. I was really nervous this year because I was putting Stephen in High School, and let me tell you that was an experience, and putting Elizabeth in Jr. High, and I still cant believe it, and leaving Sarah in elementary. Back to school at the high school left me with the distinct impression that if I hadnt taught him correctly by now, it was TO LATE! The variety of spectacles left to the eye was amazing. First boy I saw had a mohawk that stood 4 inches off his scalp. The next girl I saw had the most beautiful shade of lavendar hair. Hmmmmmm, left lots to the imagination, MY imagination. I took Elizabeth to her back to school night and all I could think about was how she was not old enough to actually be going here... We went through all her classes and I just kept telling her how wonderful and great she was going to do, meanwhile I think I was trying to console myself internally hoping that she will enjoy this new school and be as successful as Stephen was but wanting so badly to keep her as innocent, naive, and beautiful as she is. Sarah, she was such a trooper. So proud to be the ONLY one left in her school.
The first day........ I dropped Stephen off and watched as he practically ran to his crowd of "football" friends and trying not to lag to long so as to be an embarrassment. He is growing so nicely and I am so proud of him. He is loving seminary and loves to start his day each day there. We left the HS and moved to the Jr. High where it was very different. Elizabeth must have told me she loved me 20 times, and lagged in the car not wanting to get out to face the BIG Jr. High. What a sweet daughter I have. I hope she will always stay so kind, and gentle. If I could just put a big bubble around her so no one could hurt her, and she wouldnt be exposed to all the junk out there. Sarah couldnt wait to be dropped off.




I took her and we walked down to where her class is and we waited till she went in. I picked Elizabeth up after school and we went to her physical. Sarah had been fighting with me about how she is so big and why I wont let her walk home alone because she is a big girl. Well, that was her chance. I was a little late picking her up and missed her getting out of school. Boy did I get the business. She was mad at me the whole rest of the evening. I couldn't figure out why she was so grumpy and figured she was just very tired. When I laid down with her to put her to bed she finally started crying and wondered why I hadnt been there to get her after school. She understood that I was running late but didnt understand why I couldnt have done something so I was there when she came out from school. She was so cute. She wasnt such a big girl after all. She was also upset because she is sure that Elizabeth is going to forget to pick her up after school and she will have to walk home alone. So cute how much she relies on her sister. Ahhh the untold value of sisters. I love it.
So, this week, I went back to work. What a joke. I think this was the week that I was SOOOOOOO tired. We all got up at 6 am to try to be out the door by 7 am. It quickly became apparent that we couldnt all get up at the same time, so I started getting me up at 5:30 and Elizabeth at 5:45. Wouldnt you know it, the two girls have to get up first. We made it though, I didnt think Friday would ever come. We had a couple of days that the Ogre, the kids nickname for me when I am very crabby, was here visiting. We gladly sent the Ogre back to her land about thurs. and this mom actually got to the gym every day, yes most evenings it was almost 11pm when I finally got home and to bed, but we did it.
It was great to see the kids working together to try to accomplish our goals. It was cute, a couple of nights Sarah would say, "mom you dont have to lay down with me tonight because I want you to go to the gym". So thoughtful, but we still did it even when I got to lay down with each of them and take advantage of our talk time.
Thanks kids. Hopefully it will go smoothly with only little bumps from here out.

Dear Tricia......

Five years ago this morning I was up getting kids ready for school, filled with excitement and anticipation. We went about our day as usual and it was a great day. I picked up the kids after school and we talked about their teachers, and friends, and the goals for the coming year. About 4 pm I got a call from mom saying Tricia had had a seizure and was having a c-section. Still, I thought wow in a bit we will have a new little life added to our family, little did I know that one would be taken. If I had known how this day would have impacted my life, wow the things I would have done different. I would have been kinder, I would have told her just how much I loved her. I would have made sure she knew that she was my very best friend. I would have taken more time to attend the temple, read my scripture with more meaning, truly talked to my Heavenly Father and shared with him my deepest concerns and joys. I would have been doing all the things that she did so well, non of which I was doing at the time. Tricia, it was so hard to have you just gone. So many dreams died with you. We were going to raise our kids together, share the teenage blues together, send our boys on missions together, talk about the worries of driving together, laugh about the HS dances and the kids funny dates together, cry when they got their hearts broken together, we were going to marry off our children together and then think how did we get so old together. So many things we were going to do together, and now I am doing them by myself. I miss you, but I think of you every day. That day that you left I promised that I would change my life so that we could be together for eternity. I started reading my scripture diligently, talking to my Heavenly Father and really sharing with him. I attend the temple at least monthly, I still struggle to keep up with your weekly visit. I love more openly and definately more deeply. I tell those around my how I feel, and I compliment more often. I wonder if you were taken so I would get my life in order, and if so then it has been worth it. I thank Heavenly Father every day that he let you be my sister and bless my life. I know you were with me when I went through my divorce, and felt so much better when Mike shared that you had wanted me to do that long before. I know that you were with us during the hard time just after you left. I feel you with me when I struggle, cheering me on. I have felt you with the kids starting school, and know that you are with me as I wonder how I have gotten so old. So, I guess we are still doing all those things together. I have found many wonderful women that have taken me in as their sister, thankyou for sending them my way. They will never take your place but as true sisters they ease the everyday burdens. Thankyou dear sister for everything. For watching over me, guiding me, loving me, and helping me see what is truly important. I love you so much, and miss you dearly. What a wonderful day it will be when I get to run into your embracing arms and I can finally give you the hug I have longed to give and tell you how much I love you and how important you were to me through life and how excited I am that we will be together forever. Thankyou for keeping me grounded because you know how flighty I can be. Thank you for reminding me that it is really about the quiet, peaceful, small moments. That you can be soft and still be strong. I love you.