I have spent my whole life hearing about football. I remember hating football season as a child because all it meant was A LOT of noise. I loved soccer because that was what I played. As I had my own kids I integrated them into my same love of the game. Then High School happened. Stephen has had such a fun time playing, even though he hasn't played a lot. They switched his position from linebacker to tight end. I have decided that I LOVE this new found passion as well. I have had so much fun sitting in the stands cheering. I have learned so much. I now know what off-sides, false start, and face-masking are. To name a few. I have learned what some of the different positions are and that a tight end isn't a "blond" as I was told by a friend.... As the boys finish their season I am really very sad to see it end. We went to the last Varsity home game last night and had a blast, and relished it until next year. What a fun time. I cant wait to see what he does in the off season. Maybe I will get the chance to learn a little about wrestling......
Stephen decided this year to play football. He practiced the whole summer and when school started continued. I thought that after a couple of months of practicing in 100+ weather he would have had enough..... I guess that is what I get for thinking. Actually it seems to have fueled his desire to play. He is definately not one of the big boys, but he has the same heart and seems to love the game. Funny how it has taken the seat of soccer. Last week was his first game. They start the game huddled, jumping up and down and chanting. Then they break and go out on the field. Stephen is on the kick off special team, so he got to play on each kick off. I also expected him to not see any playing time but to my surprise he did get to go in for a few minutes in the second half. They ended up losing their game, but it was fun anyway.
I love it when you come across a great deal, or better yet I love it when your friends decide to get new furniture and theirs is in pristine condition. Such was my luck. A dear friend and I were chatting and she commented on wanting to get new furniture and I said I want yours.... Thankyou dear friend, we love it. Funny how MY living room has turned into Stephens hang out spot to rest, talk on the phone, read a book...... Hmmmmmm I need to reclaim my room.
The first two weeks of school are done..... We did it this year without Mom which I felt was a huge accomplishment. It is funny, the way I motivate myself it to prove things to me! I look around and pick someone who appears to me to be doing it correctly and I make them my example. I tell myself, "if they can do it so can I". By doing this, it is funny but I honestly think I can accomplish ANYTHING! So, back to school. I was really nervous this year because I was putting Stephen in High School, and let me tell you that was an experience, and putting Elizabeth in Jr. High, and I still cant believe it, and leaving Sarah in elementary. Back to school at the high school left me with the distinct impression that if I hadnt taught him correctly by now, it was TO LATE! The variety of spectacles left to the eye was amazing. First boy I saw had a mohawk that stood 4 inches off his scalp. The next girl I saw had the most beautiful shade of lavendar hair. Hmmmmmm, left lots to the imagination, MY imagination. I took Elizabeth to her back to school night and all I could think about was how she was not old enough to actually be going here... We went through all her classes and I just kept telling her how wonderful and great she was going to do, meanwhile I think I was trying to console myself internally hoping that she will enjoy this new school and be as successful as Stephen was but wanting so badly to keep her as innocent, naive, and beautiful as she is. Sarah, she was such a trooper. So proud to be the ONLY one left in her school. The first day........ I dropped Stephen off and watched as he practically ran to his crowd of "football" friends and trying not to lag to long so as to be an embarrassment. He is growing so nicely and I am so proud of him. He is loving seminary and loves to start his day each day there. We left the HS and moved to the Jr. High where it was very different. Elizabeth must have told me she loved me 20 times, and lagged in the car not wanting to get out to face the BIG Jr. High. What a sweet daughter I have. I hope she will always stay so kind, and gentle. If I could just put a big bubble around her so no one could hurt her, and she wouldnt be exposed to all the junk out there. Sarah couldnt wait to be dropped off. I took her and we walked down to where her class is and we waited till she went in. I picked Elizabeth up after school and we went to her physical. Sarah had been fighting with me about how she is so big and why I wont let her walk home alone because she is a big girl. Well, that was her chance. I was a little late picking her up and missed her getting out of school. Boy did I get the business. She was mad at me the whole rest of the evening. I couldn't figure out why she was so grumpy and figured she was just very tired. When I laid down with her to put her to bed she finally started crying and wondered why I hadnt been there to get her after school. She understood that I was running late but didnt understand why I couldnt have done something so I was there when she came out from school. She was so cute. She wasnt such a big girl after all. She was also upset because she is sure that Elizabeth is going to forget to pick her up after school and she will have to walk home alone. So cute how much she relies on her sister. Ahhh the untold value of sisters. I love it. So, this week, I went back to work. What a joke. I think this was the week that I was SOOOOOOO tired. We all got up at 6 am to try to be out the door by 7 am. It quickly became apparent that we couldnt all get up at the same time, so I started getting me up at 5:30 and Elizabeth at 5:45. Wouldnt you know it, the two girls have to get up first. We made it though, I didnt think Friday would ever come. We had a couple of days that the Ogre, the kids nickname for me when I am very crabby, was here visiting. We gladly sent the Ogre back to her land about thurs. and this mom actually got to the gym every day, yes most evenings it was almost 11pm when I finally got home and to bed, but we did it. It was great to see the kids working together to try to accomplish our goals. It was cute, a couple of nights Sarah would say, "mom you dont have to lay down with me tonight because I want you to go to the gym". So thoughtful, but we still did it even when I got to lay down with each of them and take advantage of our talk time. Thanks kids. Hopefully it will go smoothly with only little bumps from here out.
Five years ago this morning I was up getting kids ready for school, filled with excitement and anticipation. We went about our day as usual and it was a great day. I picked up the kids after school and we talked about their teachers, and friends, and the goals for the coming year. About 4 pm I got a call from mom saying Tricia had had a seizure and was having a c-section. Still, I thought wow in a bit we will have a new little life added to our family, little did I know that one would be taken. If I had known how this day would have impacted my life, wow the things I would have done different. I would have been kinder, I would have told her just how much I loved her. I would have made sure she knew that she was my very best friend. I would have taken more time to attend the temple, read my scripture with more meaning, truly talked to my Heavenly Father and shared with him my deepest concerns and joys. I would have been doing all the things that she did so well, non of which I was doing at the time. Tricia, it was so hard to have you just gone. So many dreams died with you. We were going to raise our kids together, share the teenage blues together, send our boys on missions together, talk about the worries of driving together, laugh about the HS dances and the kids funny dates together, cry when they got their hearts broken together, we were going to marry off our children together and then think how did we get so old together. So many things we were going to do together, and now I am doing them by myself. I miss you, but I think of you every day. That day that you left I promised that I would change my life so that we could be together for eternity. I started reading my scripture diligently, talking to my Heavenly Father and really sharing with him. I attend the temple at least monthly, I still struggle to keep up with your weekly visit. I love more openly and definately more deeply. I tell those around my how I feel, and I compliment more often. I wonder if you were taken so I would get my life in order, and if so then it has been worth it. I thank Heavenly Father every day that he let you be my sister and bless my life. I know you were with me when I went through my divorce, and felt so much better when Mike shared that you had wanted me to do that long before. I know that you were with us during the hard time just after you left. I feel you with me when I struggle, cheering me on. I have felt you with the kids starting school, and know that you are with me as I wonder how I have gotten so old. So, I guess we are still doing all those things together. I have found many wonderful women that have taken me in as their sister, thankyou for sending them my way. They will never take your place but as true sisters they ease the everyday burdens. Thankyou dear sister for everything. For watching over me, guiding me, loving me, and helping me see what is truly important. I love you so much, and miss you dearly. What a wonderful day it will be when I get to run into your embracing arms and I can finally give you the hug I have longed to give and tell you how much I love you and how important you were to me through life and how excited I am that we will be together forever. Thankyou for keeping me grounded because you know how flighty I can be. Thank you for reminding me that it is really about the quiet, peaceful, small moments. That you can be soft and still be strong. I love you.
Then, I met the girls to pick them up after school. I was surprised that Elizabeth didnt say to much about the last day this morning. I remember Stephen ending elementary and he was quite sad. So, I say the girls walking towards me in the car and didnt think to much until Elizabeth came a bit closer..... She was BAWLING..... All she could say was that she didnt want it to be over. She is so cute, and VERY sentimental. I knew she would get emotional. The school has a FANTASTIC 6th grade team that does so much for the kids. They really sent them off with great memories. Each of the kids then had invited 2-4 friends to come over and swim after school and I took the liberty of inviting a few of my own. What a fabulous afternoon. It is so fun to be forming great friendships again. I have really missed that and I am enjoying watching the kids enjoying themselves also. There is no value that can be affixed to a great friend. What a FABULOUS day I had. I got to spend the morning with Stephen at his promotion to HS. I had to really fight off getting emotional (yes, Rob I am a sap). I am so proud of him. He has really blossomed into a delightful young man. I am so proud of his accomplishments. He far exceeded my expectations. The Jazz band played the prelude music and sounded fantastic. They have all grown so much this year and what a great experience that has been. I cant wait for him to continue through HS.
God gives us our relatives - thank God we can choose our friends.
- Ethel Watts Mumford
Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.
- Kim Rohn
Love sees roses without thorns.
- German Proverb
Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.
- Storm Jameson
Their favorite past time
My beautiful daughter
Elizabeth is so sweet. She had the cutest thing to say this week. She called me frantic at work. She had been so excited because her teacher is having a baby, and she had been writing all the different names that her teacher could name the baby. Her teacher had gone in for "the" ultrasound to find out whether it was a boy baby or girl. She called me to tell me her teacher had had a "miscarry out" and she was crying. She was so sad and empathetic for her. I love her so much for that.
Elizabeth is a gift. She is sweet, kind, caring, compassionate, and beautiful. She is always the first one to confess a wrong and to try to make it right. She is patient, and always waits for me to spend time with the other two, which she often ends up forfeiting her time because it is all gone. She is quick to overlook all the mistakes that I make and rarely calls me on them. She loves all her little trinkets, all the ones I hate because it clutters up her room. She reminds me so much of Tricia and I feel maybe I have captured a little piece of her in my beautiful daughter. I love her so much and hope that she knows that. She is valiant and always mindful of what is right.
My beautiful girls
Sarah, a little bit of me.
Sarah is my fireball. She is so strong. She is passionate about everything. She is my 100% child. She never does anything without putting her whole effort into it, even getting into trouble. I love her dedication to the underdog and standing up for those in need. I love the way she has always cuddled into me and the way she loves to love and be loved. I love the way she is adamant about her siblings and defending them to the end. She is my fighter. She tries to stand up for the right and is mindful of making good choices. I love the way she will usually apologize for what she has done and try to make it right. That takes courage and humility and she is not afraid to bend down to correct her wrong. I love the way she sneeks into my room to snuggle in the morning. The way she loves to say goodbye, and the way she always says "love you mom". She is very generous with her love. I hope she will always stand up for what is right and make good choices. I hope she will keep her eyes on her goal and be stalwart and diligent in achieving them. I hope we will always be together and stick through things till the end. I hope to always have her near me. I love the way she laughs hysterically. I love her smile that she gives so freely. I love you Sarah.
Stephen wows me every once in a while and really has the ability to knock my socks off. He really tries my patience but when it counts he always comes through. He tries to "take care" of us as only a big brother can. He tries so hard to "be the Man" and often it gets him in trouble. I am so proud of the way he is so mindful of his future. I dont have to really get after him about school. He knows what he wants and is trying to achieve his goals. I am proud of the way he regards his education and the foundation it will serve for his future. I am impressed with the way he is clear on his standards, and the way he is committed to them especially as he gets older and adhearing to them becomes more difficult. I love it when he is tender and soft and kind. I appreciate the way I can leave him with tasks to do and for the most part he always gets them done. Thankyou so much Stephen for always setting an example for those you are around and for being valiant, and for remembering who you are.