My leave of absence from blogging.......

Rob reminded me that some actually read and like these..... Just kidding. I have had such a crappy attitude the last couple of weeks, I can blame it on whatever I chose, the truth is I needed some time to get my perspective again and realize I cant really change the world single handedly and some things just are never going to change so I need to let it go. I have struggled with some friendships that I guess looking back maybe werent the friendships I thought they were. I have been told that I need to stay away from relationships that are negative. I stuggle with that because I tend to see the good and overlook things that really are not good influences. It has been hard to have teenagers. I have a friend that loved her kids teenage years, I have asked her what about it she loved........ I struggle each day with wanting to put them up for foster care. I cant hardly get through a week where at some point I really cant stand them, then I feel like a really crappy mother. It truly is a love hate relationship. Some days I wonder if I really make a difference, or if they really even care. On good days I think they are wonderful, adorable, and it is fun to actually talk to them. They are curious about the world and where they are headed.
Work has frustrated me immensley. I really love what I do, and I really mean that. I love to help people, and nothing gives me more satisfaction than ending a day knowing I was able to help someone hopefully really feel better. I have a manager that stomps around the lab and acts like an over grown two year old. She is rude, mean, and unprofessional. I have really struggled to realize that she doesnt have to affect me. This has been hard because so much of my socializing comes at work, and she really has a way of taking the fun out of it. I finally, this week, was able to get past that and change my attitude and put fun back in. I have gotten to work with some of my best friends and that has really helped.
I appreciate so much my circle of friends. I have some really wonderful friends. They have been so great to rally me when I need the encouragement, and sometimes give me loving criticism when I need an attitude adjustment. I get so bogged down sometimes with work and home that I forget to take the time to recharge. They are very good about helping me do that, and reminding me when I might need a recharge.;)
I am ever grateful to my family for loving me no matter how frustrated, negative, emotionally, honery,or obstinant I might get. I really appreciate being able to bounce thoughts off of you guys and get feedback that helps me go on. Where would I be without you guys, probably over a cliff somewhere. I miss you guys always, and love being able to keep in touch.